Dreams and hopes
by Countess Zoya
Summary: My first fanfic of Lady Cora and Sarah O'Brien. Reviews are more than welcome and you can also give me some signs if i should write another chapter.Thank you!  This story is dedicated to my dear friend,E.
1. If only

**If only…**

"O'Brien, tonight I shall wear my red dress. We expect Sir Richard Carlisle for dinner, we should all make a good impression on him"

"Very well m'lady, I'll fetch it for you by dressing time".

O'Brien loved that dress. To say it more precisely she loved it _on _Cora. The colour perfectly matched with her dark hair and the low neck of the dress left her collarbones bare and so desirable. But Sarah had to stop distracting herself from her job, she had so much things to do on this afternoon and she knew very well how her thoughts can lead her mind fly away from the reality (which made her rather slow during the work).

"That would be all m'lady?"

"Yes, thank you O'Brien. Oh no wait a second. I thought I might put a red rose in my hair, what do you think?"

What did she think?She couldn't imagine anything more beautiful than that. Now she knew for sure that she won't be able to put her thoughts together again during this day.

"I think that will be very nice indeed m'lady. I will ask for the flower from the gardener right before the dinner to have it fresh."

"Thank you dear O'Brien, you are really a treasure."

Sarah left Her Ladyship's room and cursed herself for having _those _thoughts again about the countess. But she couldn't help them.

_A cigarette with Thomas will help._

The afternoon flew away very fast for the people working downstairs. There always seemed to be much more work than time.

Sarah finished with her needlework and then she suddenly remembered about the flower. The dressing gong will call the ladiesmaid in half an hour to help her mistresses to dress. Sarah went out to the garden. The last rays of the sun were still warm, very warm indeed. She felt dizzy for a second. She couldn't tell if it was the sudden warmth what made her feel uncomfortable in her black dress or the thought of the Countess with the flower in her hair caused this feeling of faint.

_C'mon O'Brien put yourself together._

She didn't have to search long for the gardener. He was working in the rose garden.

"Good evening miss, can I help you?"

"I'd like you to pick the most beautiful piece for me. It'll be for Her Ladyship."

"All right miss, I choose one for ya'. How about this one?"

Sarah wasn't pleased at all. She rather looked around and she picked herself the most beautiful flower.

"This will be quite perfect, thank you." _Ah, SHE is perfect._

Shortly gave the sign by the gong and Sarah was ready to go upstairs. She carried the red dress on her arm.

She knocked on the door and entered. Lady Cora was still sitting on the bed with a book in her hand.

"Is it that late already?It seems I've left my sense of time."

"Shall we start m'lady?"

"Yes, I shouldn't be late, should I?" – said Lady Cora with the adorable smile which always made Sarah's heart beat faster.

Sir Richard Carlise was an important guest of the house, Sarah knew it well. They all knew it downstairs that he may be the future husband of Lady Mary.

"I would like to go and check Lady Mary before I go downstairs, can you help me to be ready fast, dear O'Brien?"

Sarah certainly could, but she felt sorry that she couldn't enjoy every moment of dressing her mistress in this hurry.

"I'm almost ready m'lady" –she said and put the black pearl around Lady Cora's neck.

"Thank you O'Brien, only the gloves are left now."

Lady Cora stoop up from the table and she looked in her red dress just as O'Brien imagined some hours ago.

"Wait a second m'lady, we shouldn't forget the flower."

Sarah took out the rose carefully from her pocket and she turned to her mistress.

She tried to put the flower in Cora's hair but as the countess was not sitting anymore it seemed to be hard to do it. Sarah made a step forward, incredibly close to her lady. She felt Cora's warm breath on her cheek and she felt she has to do it now. Now or never. However it seemed to be the most silly and dangerous thing what a servant ever can do to her mistress, she approached Cora's lips with hers, when…

When O'Brien opened her eyes for that annoying noise of the morning bell. For a second she was not sure where she was, she had to look around. She closed her eyes with the hope she can finish her dream, at least the kiss. But she was too far already. Too far from her dream and too far from Her Ladyship. It wasn't the first occasion that she dreamed about the countess, but this time it felt so real.

Sarah woke up with the feeling of a bittersweet disappointment. She desperately wanted to dream it again, dream it further but she also had the strange feeling, that uncertain but strong feeling that it was not only her who had a dream that night…


	2. The letter

**The letter**

Sarah woke up with the pleasant thought of her dream. She went to the kitchen to fetch Her Ladyship's breakfast but she was too early. Mrs. Patmore hadn't finished yet with preparing the meal for the people upstairs.

So Sarah went outside to have a cigarette. She wasn't surprised when she found Thomas there, however she rather wanted to be left alone with her thoughts.

"Good mornin'."

"Why would it be good?"- asked the man with a bit of irony in his voice.

Sarah didn't answer, she knew Thomas too well to react to a reply like this.

She lighted her cigarette and got lost in her thoughts.

_I could have finished my dream, the bloody breakfast is not even ready yet. And this nosy Thomas will discover in ten seconds that I am not in a chatty mood he will wonder why…_

"Where is your mind today?"

"I asked, where is your mind today?"

Sarah turned her head to Thomas.

"Did ya' say somethin'?"

"Never mind. What happened with ya'? I was talkin' about Mr. Bates and his wife and you didn't say a word!"

"Sorry, I was thinkin' about something."

"About what?"

"Nothin', I just had a dream this night that's all."

"Ahh I see now…you've dreamed about a nice fellow, ya?"

"Don't be daft, and mind your own business. I'm back to the kitchen."

The breakfast was ready, Sarah put the plates and the coffe on the tray.

Cora opened her eyes and tried to catch the last pieces of her couldn't remember clearly, but she was sure that it had something to do with O'Brien.

_She helped me so much to bear the pain and the loss of my baby, she spent most of her time with me, that's why I am dreaming about her. _

But there was somethig else about her dream couldn't tell why, but she woke up with a good feeling of being safe. She felt something she didn't feel for a long time. She felt peace.

Cora didn't have too much time to think about her dream because Sarah was already knocking on her door.

"Good mornin' m'lady."

"Good morning O'Brien. Just put the tray on my bed, I am not hungry yet, I will read a little before I eat my breakfast."

"But are you feeling good, m'lady?"

"Absolutely, don't worry dear O'Brien."

Sarah looked at her mistress before she left the room. Lady Cora seemed to be so fresh however her voice was still drowsy. Sarah loved to see her like this…in her…bed…

"I'll ring for you when I'm finished with the breakfast."

"Very well m'lady."

Sarah left the room however she wanted to say so many things to her mistress. She wanted to speak about her dream, about her feelings and about the fears what her feelings caused. Sarah knew she could never tell these things to Lady Cora, she would never dare to speak to her about these things eye to eye. But on the other hand she felt she would go insane if she cannot speak out her thoughts.

Sarah went to the kitchen where the others were already having breakfast. She sat down in silence and started to drink her tea. She was busy with her thoughts but she couldn't help listening to the conversation of Anna and Daisy.

"You've got a letter?"-asked Daisy.

"Yes, I did. Mr. Bates wrote to me."

"How long he will stay in London?"

"He says that he has to manage some things with his lawyer but he shall be back by Tuesday."

"I never get a letter from anyone"- sobbed the young girl.

_A letter…that's it!I have to write down my feelings in a letter!I don't think I will ever be able to give it to her but at least it might help me to clear my mind and I would know that there is always a chance to tell about my feelings to her by that if I never will. _

After the long day Sarah searched for peace in the silence of her was quite late but she decided to write the letter. She had to find the courage to start it however she knew that not a single person will read it. For a moment her idea seemed to be so stupid.

_But I have to do it, I will feel better._

And she started:

_M'lady,_

_I'm not a master of words or confessions, and I'm a very simply person. You've always been so kind to me, even if I didn't deserve it. For the first time in my life I felt that someone cared about me. God knows I am so fond of you, maybe more than I should. My admiration turned to something more. I have feelings for you which I am not meant to have.I think of you in a way I shouldn't. I have inappropriate dreams about you. Thoughts of…loving you._

_Oh no, I can't actually write this down, I am a bloody fool._

Sarah opened her drawer and put the letter in it. She was rather angry than relieved. She decided to burn the letter at once in the morning.


	3. The unveiled secret

**The unveiled secret**

Sarah had other things to worry about in the morning. The house was like a teeming anthill. Most members of the Crawley family went for an all day long hunting, so decided to command a spring-cleaning. Sarah had a lot of needlework too, but her biggest problem was her headache. Yesterday night she already felt it, but she didn't care too much. Now it became worse and her tight corset made her feel more and more uncomfortable.

She didn't get any instructions, if she should bring up Her Ladyship's breakfast yet, so she went out to the fresh air with the hope that it will ease her pain. Thomas was there of course…

"Fancy a smoke?"

"Not now."

"Whats the matter with ya'? You look awful. This time you dreamed about Bates?" – giggled Thomas.

"Oh shut up!" –said Sarah and she turned back.

"Now she's even turned rusty!" – murmured Thomas.

As soon as Sarah arrived to the kitchen Anna stopped her.

"Oh, Miss O'Brien, Her Ladyship rang for the breakfast, she will have it in her room."

_I wish I could be in my room. Good Lord, I'm never ill, what's happening to me?_

She couldn't tell that exactly, she just knew something was really not _allright _with her.

Sarah picked up the tray and she tried not to drop it, which seemed to be a rather hard thing to achieve as the world started to turn around her. She took a deep breath and turned to the stairs.

_It seems to be the Himalaya…_

Sarah stopped for a moment on the top.

_I will drop this damn tray, in a second._

But she didn't drop it. Not yet.

She knocked on Lady Cora's door.

"Come in, O'Brien."

Sarah found Her Ladyship sitting at her table, in front of the mirror. She was creaming her hands. That scent was pleasant for Sarah most of the time, but now it just made her feel more sick.

"Good morning m'lady, where should I put the tray?"

"Just put it on my bed, thank you O'Brien."

Sarah approached the bed, when her dizziness reached the most horrible point.

"O'Brien, is everything all right?"

She wanted to answer but the words didn't come. The world became blur around her and she dropped the tray, just before she could put it on the bed.

"O'Brien I think you should…"

Sarah couldn't hear the second part of the sentence. She fainted.

When she opened her eyes she found herself _on _Her Ladyship's bed. She didn't know how long she had been laying there but it seemed to be hours.

"O'Brien, you have fever. I will send for as soon as we put you in your bed. I already rang for Mr. Carson. Do you think you will be able to stand up?"

"Sarah didn't answer immediately, she could only think about the fact that she was on Lady Cora's bed."

"Yes m'lady, I will be better in a minute. Thank you."

In the very next moment Mr. Carson entered in the room.

"What can I do for you m'lady?"

"Please let O'Brien lean on you and keep her company to her room. I'm afraid she is ill."

"Of course m'lady. Let me give you a hand Miss O'Brien."

Mr. Carson helped Sarah to stand up from one side and so did the Countes from the other side. Sarah felt she will faint again, but this time because of Lady Cora's touch.

"Slowly O'Brien, just slowly."

Sarah obeyed, mostly because in this way she could enjoy this contact longer.

"I'll take care of her from now m'lady".

"I want to go with you, she may faint again."

Cora just very rarely went to the servant's section so she let herself to be led by Mr. Carson.

They helped O'Brien in the bed.

" please call for the doctor and I will tell to stay with O'Brien until he arrives."

"Very well m'lady."

After she had her breakfast, the Countess went downstairs where she just ran into .

"Good morning doctor, how is she?"

"Good morning Lady Grantham. She needs to stay in bed for at least two days. She has a flu, fortunately it's not very serious and she is quite strong. I put the medicines on her night desk and gave the instructions to Mrs. Hughes."

"Thank you very much Dr. Clarkson."

Cora decided to visit Sarah and see if she needs anything. Fortunately now she knew the way.

She went to the room and found Sarah sleeping. She put a chair next to her bed and sat down. The Countess put her hand on Sarah's forehead to see if she had fever. Her body was quite hot, Cora needed something to bring down her temperature. She found a bowl of cold water on the night table but she didn't find a towel next to it.

_Mrs. Hughes must brought it out. A handkerchief will do too. But where can I find one?Maybe in her drawer._

Lady Cora opened one up and she found the handkerchiefs there.

_What a relief I don't have to seek more._

She decided to use two of them as they were rather small. As she took them out, a piece of paper felt down. Cora bent down to pick it up and suddenly she saw her name on the bottom of the paper.

In that very moment Mrs. Hughes entered the room. By the feeling of emberrassement, as if she was cought doing something inappropriate, Cora hid the letter behind her back.

"I'm sorry m'lady, I didn't know you were here."

"I just checked if O'Brien needs something but I found her sleeping. Though her temperature is high, that's why I searched a handkerchief to put it on her forehead."

As Lady Cora said that she streched her right hand with the handkerchiefs to Mrs. Hughes. She still kept the paper behind her back in her left hand.

"I will do that m'lady, don't worry."

"Thank you Mrs. Hughes, I'll go then."

And Lady Cora left the room.

_How silly of me that I opened her drawer. Now I will have to give back this paper to her and I will have to explain why I kept it. And why she mentioned my name in there?_

Cora was not the nosy kind of woman but now she had a good reason to read this letter…


	4. Fears

**Fears**

Cora thought she shouldn't be caught by anyone, reading a letter in the servant's section, so she decided to read it in the shelter of her room, however she was very curious.

The Countess started to make theories on the way to her room.

_Maybe it's her resignation. But why would she do such a thing?And what should I do without her?_

Lady Cora suddenly knew what she would feel if O'Brien would leave her…emptiness….

_Good Lord, maybe she is getting married and that's the reason why she wants to leave 's why she wants to leave me…I don't have any other idea why she would mention my name in a letter._

But she couldn't really imagine O'Brien getting married.

_Actually I hardly know a thing about her private never occurred to me that she has a life besides Downton Abbey. But why wouldn't she?She has the right._

Then Cora arrived in her room and she closed the door behind heart started to beat faster as she read the letter. She read it once…she read it twice…and she read it for the third time. She didn't know what to think. She couldn't think at all. First she felt sudden relief because it was not a resignation letter. But what was this letter supposed to mean?

_This is a confession, there is no doubt. A confession of her feelings…to me?Is it true?_

Lady Cora never thought of Sarah in _that _way and she was aware of that. But the reason might have been, that the Countess couldn't name her feelings. And now O'Brien did that instead of her. Actually she felt very flattered because she didn't hope that anybody but her husband would have feelings to her.

Suddenly she desperately wanted to be with O'Brien and ask her if this was true. Lady Cora wanted to know if she was all right. She had to admit that she felt something warm within her soul now, when she thought about Sarah.

She had a lot of things to think about but somebody knocked on her door.

"Yes, come in."

It was Anna.

"Sorry for disturbing you milady but the Dowager Countess and Lady Rosamund arrived. They are waiting for you in the library."

_Oh my goodness, I completely forgot that I invited them for luncheon._

"Yes Anna, thank you I will be down in a minute."

Lady Cora looked in the mirror, she felt her cheeks burning terribly.

_I hope Rosamund won't recognize that I am distracted. But as I know her, she will…_

Cora went downstairs.

"Cora, I almost thought you forgot that we are coming."

Rosamund greeted her sister in law with the usual kiss.

"Not at all Rosamund dear, I was just busy with my…with my embroidrey."

"Oh, you must show it to me sometime, I am always fascinated by other people's embroidery, probably because I never had the patience to do it!"

After lunch Lady Rosamund insisted to go for a walk with Lady Cora, she probably wanted to spread the newest and best gossips of London. Cora was not really in the mood for listening to them, but as she felt the wind on her face she hoped that the fresh air would help her to think more clearly.

"I'm sure you didn't hear about the new scandal about the Harveys."

_Now she starts…_

"Their oldest daughter, Katherine found herself in a really embarrassing situation during the last ball because…"

_Sarah will discover sooner or later that the letter is missing…Will she ask if she saw it?No, I don't think it may turn out that I was in her room and she may have the idea that it was me who…_

"I suggested to them not to allow Katherine for the next ball to save what can be saved, but they don't seem to listen to me…"

_Maybe I should smug back the letter to her room when she is well enough to work again. Maybe she didn't notice yet the absence of it…_

"Neither you do my darling!What happened with you, you seem to be really distracted?"

"No, no I am fine, I'm listening to you. So what exactly did you suggest to the Harveys?"

The afternoon was endless for Cora. She wanted to go back to her room and read the letter again and again. But the others would be back from hunting soon and Lady Rosamund still had some stories to share.

Anna came to help her to getting ready for dinner.

"How is O'Brien?Do you know something about her Anna?"

"Yes Your Ladyship, Mrs. Hughes said she does much better and she wants to start to work tomorrow morning."

"I'm more than happy to hear that."

"Anna…do you know anything about O'Brien's relatives?"

"Not too much milady, she never speaks about her family. The only thing we know that she really liked her brother,who she lost."

"Yes, I knew that too. But anybody else?"

"I'm sorry Your Ladyship, that's all I know."

"Of course Anna, I shouldn't bother you with such things anyway. I better go downstairs."

Lady Cora could hardly wait to escape from the stifling atmosphere of the dining room. She didn't have any particular problems with Lady Rosamund, but listening to her all afternoon and evening was a little bit tiresome.

The Countess was really grateful when Robert said to her that he intended to sleep in his dressing room, because he had a meeting with Sir Richard in the morning.

Finally Cora could stay alone with her thoughs and with the letter. She read it so many times that she knew it by heart. She paid attention now to the little details like Sarah's handwriting which she never saw before and which she really liked. Or to that small hitch that Sarah put on each 'a' letter.

Cora fall aslept with the paper in her hand and with an almost invisible smile on her face, with the precious feeling of being loved.

Lady Cora was in half-sleep and she had that uncomfortable anticipation that somebody was standing next to her bed.

_Could it be morning already?_

Cora opened her eyes and she saw her husband standing at her bed and looking down at her.

"Ro…Robert…what's the matter?"

Lord Grantham didn't answer first, he only lifted his hand which was holding something…the letter.

"This is a matter as I consider."

Lady Cora felt like her heart stopped beating for a moment. She wanted to open her mouth to explain the unexplainable, when…

When she opened her eyes. There was nobody in the room, she was only surrounded by the darkness and silence. Cora breathed heavily and she looked at her hand. She was still holding the letter.


	5. I will make the most of loving you

**I will make the most of loving you**

The next morning Sarah felt much better, it was time for her to return to work. She dressed up and she almost left her room when something occurred in her mind.

_Damn, the letter. I almost forgot about it. It's high time to burn it._

As Sarah opened her drawer she had a bad anticipation and she had a good reason for that.

_I'm sure I put it between the two handkerchiefs on the top. Where on Earth is it?_

Sarah became more and more nervous and she throwed out everything from her drawer. She had _déja vu _feeling; she throwed about the things in her room once, when she thought that Bates and Anna hid the snuff box of Lord Grantham there as a revenge. This letter was precious to her and it could be a weapon for anybody who found it.

_Bloody hell, this can't be true. Nobody was in my room except…except . Oh that cow…how dare's she smug in my stuff?_

But there was nothing she could do at the moment, she would have to bring up her Ladyship's breakfast soon.

_I need a cigarette right now._

As she was on her way to the court, Daisy –who was in such a hurry like always- almost hit her with a tray in her hands which were full of knifes.

"Watch out you clumsy girl, you will kill someone."

The court door was opened and Thomas heard this little interlude.

"I can see you feel much better!"

"Oh, don't you tell me you were worried about me!"

"I didn't, but it was rather boring out here alone."

"I see. Well I fancy a smoke now and you shall have company."

"You know –started Thomas- you were so weird in the last days. First it seemed that your mind was far away, then you fell to bed. What's gotten into you?You must have a secret."

"It surely wouldn't remain a secret if two people would know it."

_But that happened already._

Sarah felt that this time she had to say something, she couldn't fool Thomas any longer. He knew her too well.

"Alright, I guess it won't do more harm than 'appened already."

"What do you mean?"

"I think has something which is mine. She might have taken it while I was ill."

"And what is that?"

"A letter."

"What letter?"

"A private one."

"And to who did you write it?"

"I…" – Sarah still hesitated to answer.

"C'mon, spit it out!"

Sarah looked into the eyes of Thomas.

"I wrote it to 'er Ladyship."

She could see the sudden sign of surpise on his face. But it vanished as fast as it came and Thomas replaced his shock with a smile.

"I've always knew we had something in common. Well, besides hating Bates."

Of course Sarah knew what he was talking about.

"How did ya know?"

"I just felt in my bones."

_He reacted much better than I thought. And I know he will keep my secret, God knows I'm keeping his for a long time._

"The question is -started Sarah- what should I do now, when obviously there are three of us who know it. And there is one who shouldn't."

"You have to be careful what are you saying, what are you doing. Old Mrs. Hughes has something which she can use against you any time."

"Well thank you for this useful piece of advice, I have figured that out already. We better go inside, we are already late."

In the very moment when Sarah entered the kitchen, she heard Mrs. Hughes's voice.

"I would be glad Miss O'Brien if you wouldn't spend so much time on the court before you start your duties."

Sarah slightly discovered the signs of _that _knowledge on 's face. She chose her words to answer.

"I'll keep that in mind."

Lady Cora's head was full with thoughts when she woke up. Thoughts of that letter of course, which she hided in her drawer when she woke up in the middle of the night after her unpleasent dream.

_I can't tell her that I read the letter. Not yet at least. I have to clear my thoughts if that's even possible._

But did she want to clear her thoughts? She was not sure. Now that she knew about Sarah's feelings she had to admit herself; she had desires too. Which were rather innapropriate of course, but she couldn't help them.

_I must act normal when she comes in. _

Which happened in the very next moment.

"Good mornin' m'lady."

Lady Cora tried to talk as calm as she could.

"O'Brien…good morning. How are you?"

"Thank you m'lady, I feel much better."

"I'm glad to hear that."

Sarah stepped behind her mistress, who was sitting in front of the mirror. Sarah started to brush Cora's hair. The Countess couldn't help herself watching O'Brien in the mirror.

_She would be so pretty in a blue dress. It would perfectly match with her eyes. I have never seen her wearing something else but black._

Sarah looked in the mirror too and the two women's eyes met.

"M'lady, I'll bring your corset."

Lady Cora stood up. Sarah helped to take off her night dress. O'Brien loved these brief moments of intimacy however she learned to hide her excitement which always ran through her body when she touched her mistress.

She put the corset around Lady Cora's waist. Her fingers touched the other woman's bare skin as she pinched it.

The Countess suddenly remembered for the words from the letter.

"_I have inappropriate dreams about you. Thoughts of…loving you."_

She felt as if her heart would jump out any second as she felt the touch of Sarah's fingers. She closed her eyes.

O'Brien recognized this movement in the mirror.

"Are you alright m'lady? Is the corset too tight?"

Cora opened her eyes and she blushed embarrassed.

"No, no, I am fine, thank you O'Brien."

During the last minutes of dressing Lady Cora was careful not to even give away a bit of her feelings, however her heart was still beating much faster than normally.

"Will that be all m'lady?"

"Yes, O'Brien, thank you. Would you please tell that I shall come to the kitchen later and run through on tonight's menu?"

"Very well m'lady."

Sarah could keep the guise of calm during the day, however inside she was exploding. She hoped that maybe Thomas will help to find a solution to her grotty situation but he didn't come up with any idea yet.

Lady Cora stayed in her room as long as possible. She couldn't keep pretending to be calm as Sarah did. She knew that her face and her movements were an open book to family would recognise in a second that she was not herself. The Countess knew she had to find a solution, especially because she felt she wouldn't be able to hide her feelings anymore in front of O'Brien anymore.

_I must know if she meant every word of that letter. I can't stay in this uncertainty-. Not after I had discovered…_

Yes…Lady Cora was sure. She did have feelings for Sarah. This was the first time she admitted to herself.

_I love her._

This feeling helped her to make a plan. She couldn't tell Sarah that she knew about the letter. Somehow she had to _lead _Sarah to discover this fact. Her plan was ready and she was excited as a young girl before her first season.

In the afternoon Anna stopped Sarah on the corridor.

"Miss O'Brien, Her Ladyship asked you to prepare her black dress for tonight with her new black gloves."

"Now? It's not even teatime yet."

"That's what she said."

Sarah went upstairs however she couldn't understand why the Countess was in such a hurry for the dinner. But she didn't pay too much attention to it, she had much bigger problems to think about.

She entered the room and took out the black dress from the cupboard. She knew she would find the new black gloves in the drawer, she put them there some days ago.

Sarah opened the drawer and she saw something she would have never dreamed of. Not in her wildest dreams; she saw her letter.

Sarah took it out but she still couldn't believe what she was holding in her hand.

In that very moment Lady Cora entered and closed the door behind her. Sarah turned to the Countess who's was blushing from excitement.

"Now you know I know."

"I…I don't understand this…I thought…"

Lady Cora went closer to Sarah and stopped just right in front of her.

"I was in you room."

"In my room m'lady?When?"

"While you were ill. I wanted to know if you had everything you needed. And I was so worried about you."

These sweet words made Sarah forget for a moment what awkward situation she was in.

"Is it true O'Brien? What you wrote in the letter?Did you want to give it to me?"

"That was not my intention m'lady however every word is true. But I'd never thought you would read it. I've kept that secret so long to myself for so long and now that you are aware of it I'm afraid this is the end for me."

"What do you mean?"

Sarah was not able to look into Lady Cora's eyes. She was looking down and she almost whispered the following words.

"Of course I would never expect you to return my feelings, so I am afraid I will have to leave this house."

"You don't have to. I would never let you."

Sarah was so surprised that she looked up, right into Lady Cora's eyes.

"Your letter made me realize that I can't fool myself or you any longer. You were honest with me, so should I be with you. I love you Sarah."

O'Brien felt like the world was turning around her. Lady Cora put her arms around her hip.

"Kiss me Sarah."

"May I, really?"

"I shall die if you don't do it right now."

O'Brien felt like forgetting how to talk. But she had to say something. She felt she had to make sure what does all of that meant.

"Is that what you want m'lady? Once we will go there, there is no turning back."

"I don't want to turn back. I will make the most of loving you."

Sarah couldn't resist anymore and she didn't want to. She kissed her mistress and as she felt Cora's soft lips touching hers, she knew this couldn't be compared to her dreames and hopes. Because this was the reality.


End file.
